My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
