If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Randomize
