someone took a shit in my car last night and left $5 on the seat...
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Randomize
