just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
drinking out of a sandbucket again
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
