actually, I'm a sock model
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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