so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
