you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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