Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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