Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Randomize
