Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
