My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
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