i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
