when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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