with your own penis?
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Randomize
