i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I think the night went to shit after he started sweating and crying about a taco he dropped on the ground 3 years ago. No more blind dates
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