? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
