can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
