i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
