It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize