I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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