yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
