She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
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