if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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