I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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