my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize