Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
