Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
