my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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