yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize