Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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