i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Apparently I blacked out and pissed all over the sliding glass door from the inside, as everyone watched from the outside helplessly....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
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