hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Got out of the uber to projectile vomit in the McDonald's drive thru. Gonna take a break from the Cuervo for a while.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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