You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
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