Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
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