so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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