nutella sex= disaster
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
No more Irish car bombs ever.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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