hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Could you please tell me why If you were a 21 year old man why you would want to sleep with a girl who has tinkerbell bedding?
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
