yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
