I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
