Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
