I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
