bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
What a dumb baby whore.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
