At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
