maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
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Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
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I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
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