he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
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