it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
