So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Randomize
