Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
