I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
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