bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
