You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Someone came in the potted fern
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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