i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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