wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
