He is such a slut. More and more my type.
i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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