the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
