Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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