while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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