escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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