Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
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