so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
